60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. North Dakotans plant gardens.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Duluth.
40 above zero: Import cars won’t start. North Dakotans drive with the sunroof open.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Bemidji gets thicker.
20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. North Dakotans throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in North Dakota have one last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero: People in Miami fly south. North Dakotans close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians head to Mexico. North Dakotans dig their winter coats out of storage..
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in North Dakota still selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington, D.C. runs out of hot air. People in North Dakota let their dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. North Dakotans get upset because the mini-van won’t start.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in North Dakota can be heard to say, “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”
500 below zero: Everything freezes over. North Dakota public schools open 2 hours late.
This winter is almost over; keep hanging on! =D