Mar 14, 2011

get a sneak peek....

...of a story I've been writing! I'm super super super excited about this story idea - I think it will be an awesome story once I'm finished. (note: this is my rough draft, don't be too harsh with me. also, I know Ellyn is very rude in this story, but that will change! you'll have to read the rest when I'm done to find the outcome! :D)

Announcing the beginning of...........

Chapter 1

“Seriously, Ellyn, just stop it!” Jordan ran out of the room, yelling at his little sister, who gave him an eye roll in return. Things weren’t too happy looking at the Paulsen family this bright Sunday afternoon. Ellyn was annoying her big brother, who was in a bad mood, Amber was being the little pesky sister, as usual, and Mom was in ‘the mood’ too. Dad was still at work.

“Mom, I’m going to Marissa’s. Natalie’s gonna be there too.” Ellyn grabbed her jacket off the table and rushed out the door. Mom called out after her.

“Not so fast, young lady. Your cousins are coming tonight and I want you to be here.”

“Not them again. Why do they always have to come over and bring their dorky parents with them?” Ellyn walked back in the house, slamming the door.

“Ellyn,” Mom began. “Quit. One of the ‘dorky parents’ is happens to be my sister. And her husband happens to be one of your dad’s friends.”

“They’re still dorky.” Ellyn rolled her eyes, grabbed her phone, and ran up to her room. She plopped down on her bed and started a new text.

Text Message To: Marissa M.
From: 1 (605) 342-0192
cant come 2nite…the dorks (aka my cuzins) r cmng ovr. :(sorry, lets do pizza another nite. luv u. c u @ school 2morow. bfn.

Ellyn flipped back her phone and ran back downstairs. She grabbed a cookie out of the jar and ate it, only to flip open her phone with a message from Marissa.

Text Message From: Marissa M.
To: 1 (605) 342-0192
o that stinks! hahaha give ur cuzins my best regards:) haha jk. Luv u cya 2morow.

“Ellyn. I don’t appreciate the attitude I’ve been getting about your cousins coming tonight. They are very nice people and they don’t get out much. They need our love.” Mom put her hand on Ellyn’s shoulder.

“Oh, puh-leez. Nice people? Really? Aunt Rachel corrects everything I do, Emma is a brat, Alexis is even worse, and they think they are the best Christians ever. Yeah, mom. Real nice people.” Ellyn pushed her mom’s hand off of her.

“Go to your room. Don’t come back until I call you.” Mom frowned. Ellyn ran upstairs with no problem.
Okay, God, I’ll give my cousins a chance. Please help me be kind to them and my aunt and uncle, too.
Wow, it had been a long time since she’d prayed. It felt good to talk to God – she had forgotten how much He could help her – with everything. A peace was already coming over her as Mrs. Paulsen called her back downstairs; her cousins had arrived.

“Why, hello, Ellyn dear!” Aunt Rachel squealed and gave Ellyn one of her famous ‘bear hugs’. Ellyn tried not to shrink back. She smiled at each of her eight cousins which were all girls-Emma, Alexis, Grace, Mariah, Eva, Justice, and Melody. Ellyn thought she would get a migraine by the time they left, which would be about midnight, if she knew her cousins.

“Ellyn! You haven’t changed much. You’ve still got that crazy curly hair and feisty blue eyes – just like you did when you were a little girl!” Emma half-smiled down at her ‘crazy haired, feisty blue eyed’ cousin. Ellyn tried to take that as a compliment – though she wasn’t sure about the ‘just like you did when you were a little girl’ part. As a teenager, that’s not exactly what she wanted to hear. A text beeped in and Ellyn answered it.

“Oh – I’m so glad my children have been sheltered from cell phones. Texting is so distracting and rude – don’t you think, dear Emma?” Mrs. Perry turned to her ‘dear Emma’.

“Of course, mother. I find it quite appalling.” Emma sniffed and turned up her nose at Ellyn, who rolled her eyes. Her mom gave her ‘the look’.

“Well, since you find my texting so appalling, I’ll just go up to my room – thanks for coming.” Ellyn tried to pull a fast one but her mom stopped her.

“Ellyn. take Emma, Alexis, Grace, and Mariah with you. I’m sure they’d love to see your room.” Mom smiled at her nieces and showed them up the stairs.

“Sure, Mom. Sounds great.” Ellyn sarcastically motioned for her cousins to follow her.
“Goodness, you have a large house. Imagine how much money was wasted in buying such extravagance – it could’ve been used for much more eternal things. What a shame.” Emma looked at the high ceilings and decorative ornamentation around the upstairs.
“I’m sorry I offended you by living in this house. Well, here’s my room.” Ellyn pushed the door opened and let the storm of girls in.

“What an adorable room!” Alexis smiled, running and jumping to the bed. Yes, her cousins were at home wherever they went. “Pink walls – you have exactly my taste, Ell.”

“Only friends call me ‘Ell’.” Ellyn tossed her curly hair. “And no, our tastes are completely different.”

There was an awkward silence for a moment until Emma noticed the TV set on Ellyn’s desk.

“It is so sad to see TV sets all over homes these days. It takes away from quality family time and there are so many inappropriate things on.” Emma shook her head. God, why did you make them so stuck-up? She sighed.

“I’m really sorry to say this – but would you quit criticizing everything you see? I could say a few things about you. But of course I won’t. I find that quite appalling.” Ellyn couldn’t help smile at her own imitation of Emma.

“Ellyn. Time to eat.” Jordan stuck his head inside her room door.

“Bone head. You’re supposed to knock.” Ellyn shoved him out of her room. Emma was clearly stunned.

“Sibling rivalry is so prevalent these days – I never expected it coming from you, though. Jordan and you used to be such nice kids. I don’t know what happened.”

“Right back at ya, Emma. Well, let’s go eat.” So that you can leave, Ellyn frowned. The girls walked quietly down to the kitchen, where pizza and pop were waiting.

“My, pizza and pop are so unhealthy. I prefer eating things that have more nutrition.” Emma whispered to Ellyn. Ellyn glared her hardest and kicked the floor. She opened her phone and texted Marissa.

Text Message To: Marissa M.
From: 1 (605) 342-0192
Omigosh my cuzins r such brats.:( i hate them esp. emma she is so stuckup.

Ellyn regretted the text as soon as she sent it. The Paulsen and Perry families ate in silence, each Perry girl turning her nose down at the ‘unhealthy’ food. Ellyn felt sorry for Mom who had thought this would be a fun treat for a family who doesn’t have the money to ‘splurge’ on pizza. How can I be so ungrateful to Mom? I could have gotten Aunt Rachel as my mom instead of her….

            “I’m sorry, Shawna, my girls aren’t used to eating greasy food. They should really act more mature. Girls, appreciate this food even though it’s very unhealthy, please!” Aunt Rachel ‘scolded’ her girls.
            “Yes, mother!” Each Perry girl said in unison. 


There you have it. Like it? Please comment with your feedback. 

{I will be back from vacation on April 1st.}


Andrea Nicole said...

good job, Lulu! keep up the great work and COME BACK QUICKLY(:

Abby said...

I love it! I am hooked already. :) Post more, soon!

Abby :D

Rachel said...

Yaay!It's cool and I love it!

sarahlynn said...

Hi! I'm sarahlynn, and i found your blog through Samarah's blog. I enjoyed reading your "sneak peek" a lot! I think you have talent! :)
have a great day!

Lily said...

I ♥ your story so far, Lulu; very excited to see what happens of course! =)
You definitely have writing skill. I love writing too!


Miss RJ said...

OOOOOO! I can't wait for more! It sounds like it's gonna be a good story!

Good job honey! :)
Miss RJ

~Lauren said...

I love it! :)

Rachel said...

Sounds good!:-)Looking forward to reading the rest of it!

Mandie said...

I don't know...

I am not sure I like it.

Emma Lou said...

I like your BIG words.

Sami said...

I REALLY like it!!!! I cant wait to read more!!!!!!!!!

Have fun!

Icebat said...

it's great! while i was reading it i forgot that it wasn't a published book! Sounds really realistic and trust me, i know where that situation would go to. But please post the rest!

Miss RJ said...

Aren't you going to post the rest????